“Has it spread to my lymph nodes?”
Ten years ago today, I returned from surgery asking everyone on the route back to my room this question in a ‘Groundhog Day’ type repetition. Had the cancer spread? I asked the nurses, doctors, my children and family members….each the same question as though I could not accept the incredible grace in their response. NO. The result held both blessings and challenges, yet it ultimately changed my life for the better.
‘What spreads’ is the catalyst for this blog. My Tales of Grit and Grace launches today, my 10 year anniversary of being cancer free. You might question the focus on “spread” as a theme for starting a blog during a pandemic! Crazy timing. We are so focused on how NOT to spread this devastating virus. The fear and anxiety forced me to reflect on all of the many wonderful life experiences that continue to nurture attributes worthy of spreading! A 10 year cancerversary in the midst of a pandemic seemed an appropriate time to share those heart stories about life, love, loss, and our commitment to ‘spread’.
My goal here is to use a personal life story in each episode to convey or spread positive outcomes from hard situations. How does cancer, divorce, a school shooting, and fear in a life threatening pandemic influence our growth, grit and finally, grace?
Going through breast cancer while being the superintendent of a 24,000 student school district was challenging physically (being a female was already a strike in the weakness zone….I cannot let them think I am a whimp with cancer), emotionally (it is already a very lonely profession, but if you need privacy for treatment and recovery, those needed conversations and social connections are absent), and psychologically (wearing a cape when you are VERY afraid is disingenuous).
Who would ever believe a 12 member school board, a district leadership team and my closest family and friends would honor my request for confidentiality? Keeping a secret was not our strong suit. Not only did they protect my privacy, they succeeded in building a beautiful protective cocoon around me. I wore boots to every cancer treatment. They were symbolic and the kick ass mindset derived from wearing boots daily was critical to my healing. So this team of individuals created a boot puzzle for my office door. Every day, I got a card from one of them AND a piece of the BOOT puzzle to encourage me and track my progress. Seriously, this group of folks guarded my secret with such integrity! I am, to this day, still overwhelmed by it. Now, don’t think this story is a fairy tale…after treatment and folks could see I was ok, we returned to our sparring and the challenges of our respective roles. However, in those months, THEY spread the ultimate goodness of their hearts all over me…like a shield of armor for another struggling human. It changed me. The capacity of this group to protect me has forever influenced my support of others.
While each person experiences cancer differently, I can unequivocally state that I am a much better human being for having marched through it. Not easy. Not horrible. But rescued by human kindness and the grace of a loving God. Cancer convinced me that attempting to “see” this goodness in others, to intentionally seek it, was an imperative. And then to spread the word, that our capacity for such good is beyond measure.
Stay tuned for more stories.
Love you for always being an inspiration. I know it’s not always easy and CB I hope to be more like you someday. I believe that’s why God provided the opportunity to meet you. Thanks for being such a role model
Loving the words growth, grit and grace all hanging out together. You clearly embrace all these. I was over by your conscious request fir what you needed— specifics about what your healing container needed to contain!! And your peeps respected you.. honored your request and then showed up so beautifully. People have no idea that they actually can help cancer patients — they shy away or make up stories about what it should look like. My heart is moved indeed. ❤️
Dear Bev, So thankful to read your life story, so greatful God’s grace has abundantly brought you to this place, He works in mysterious ways, I say that to let you know that on this special day for you I lost another dear friend of 10 years last night to this dreadful disease , I needed this read from an old friend today. Thank you , May our Lord continue to inspire us to his service.
Your comment gives me reason to continue on this path….so sorry for your loss. Prayers.
Grit and grace…love it. Thank you for sharing your amazing stories with us. ❤️
Rescued by human kindness and the grace of a loving God mirrors my experience with my recent extended mental illness. Those friends that show up in the hard, the ugly, the seemingly impossible……my relationship with those friends will forever be a sacred bond. You are such an inspiring role model for so many. I look forward to reading your story. ❤️
Beloved Beautiful Beverly. Your blog is eloquent and moving. I’m so happy you are well and happy and forgiving. So much love for you!
My sister, I love it. You know me and my love for the written word. My experience in living a life with a chronic illness (Type 1 diabetes) is that it’s not all about me. Yes, I carry a responsibility to try and do my best to control blood sugar levels, but I still may need help with that proposition. When we give folks the opportunity to help or assist with something that is out of our control, they almost always do it. Why? Because the natural hormones that flood our bodies, after we reach out and help, sends feelings of joy, accomplishment, altruism running through the heart of the helper. Some of the “spread” you mention is that it’s contagious. If we try to hard to be our only savior, then we have problems with vulnerability. You have set the example of expressing your vulnerabilities in order for others to step in and help.
I agree with Jan. Human kindness and the grace of love is what I found in my struggles with mental illness over the years. People do step up in so many ways. We have to trust in that and let them.
Grateful for you cancer anniversary and the sharing of your story. Our stories are important to share because it is the grit and perseverance that we experience on a daily basis that allows us to keep going. Your story will be the reason someone takes another step forward.
Perfect title. You are true grit and grace and I’m so thankful our paths crossed. You are a mentor to so many!
Bev,
You are not only an inspiration bit a joy spreader. You are Eudaimonia- joy in every moment! Cant wait to see you “spread” more hope and joy during this challenging time. I know you keep speaking hope and joy into my life. You are amazing!